Four years ago, I turned 30.
I was actually looking forward to it. I heard in your 30s, you start feeling more comfortable in your own skin. Lord knows after years of feeling ugly and fat, I wanted to look forward to better days and better years.
But turning 30 can also feel like those internal clocks – marriage and baby – start ticking all the louder. It seems like “all the good ones” are already taken with an armful of babies and your spending another Friday night watching Parks & Recreation at home (*cough* lil Sebastian’s awesome *cough*).
Your 30s don’t have to be years of quiet desperation. They can be a time of pursuit, passion, and love. Here are some ways your 30s can be awesomely amazing years filled with hope:
1. You get to love the Lord with all your heart.
Your heart is completely free to love Him. One of the things I hear married women say is that they wished they had better spent their time learning to know and love God. Sometimes our hearts are so wrapped up in what we don’t have that we neglect the greatest Prize we do have, Jesus Christ. Loving the Lord also helps to heal emotional wounds from our past, helps us to grow spiritually stronger, learn to develop godly intimacy and be completely focused on what pleases Him.
We learn what it means to be complete in Christ and not in another man or woman.
We won’t be confused or deceived by worldly standards of intimacy.
Our trust and faith in Him will grow instead of wane.
We become imitators of Christ instead of trying to compare ourselves to those who are in courtships or marriage.
We rest in His love and find refuge in His strength to help carry us through tough times.
2. Loving the Lord means learning to love yourself.
Our desire to want to love someone and have them love us in return can comes from self motives. We want them to love us as a way to validate who we are. I’ve often felt like Leah – forgotten and unloved. Too often I’ve thought, If only that person saw me, who I really am, then maybe they would love me. To everyone, including Leah, she was the lesser one, the “ugly” one and she wanted Jacob to see her as he did Rachel. In God’s eyes, you, His daughters, are beautiful. In this season of singleness, we get to see ourselves the way God sees us. Not fat or skinny, short or tall. Wanted, chosen, accepted, redeemed, sung over, unconditionally loved.
4. Know where your source of hope comes from.
Let your unfailing love surround us, O Lord, for our hope is in you alone. Psalm 33:22
And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. Psalm 39:7
You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds, O God our savior. You are the hope of all the earth…Psalm 65:5
Hitting your 30s doesn’t mean that you’ve automatically been moved to the “soon-to-be-spinister” category. As much as I love Jane Austen movies, I’m so glad we don’t live in that era where the age of a woman determines her ability to get married. Even in my 30s, I can still nab the smoldering Mr. Darcy instead of having to settle for the drab Mr. Collins.
Being single and 30 also doesn’t mean we have to accept the lies this world tries to tuck into our hearts. Words like “old”, “impossible”, and “never” no longer have to be apart of our vocabulary.
Keep your hope alive by putting all of your hope in the One who will never fail or disappoint you.